With You, For You

Growth & All Things Self

And The Internal Dialouge That Comes With It

Allowing Disrespect

Video on this topic here

Tired, do you hear me? I am FUCKING TIRED of seeing people allow people in their life to constantly disrespect them. Do you know why you allow people to disrespect you? Is it because you don’t respect yourself? Do you know why I can say that? It’s because I have had PLENTY of stages in my life where I let people treat me horribly because I did not care for or value myself enough to acknowledge it for what it really is, not only that, but subconsciously, I did not want to acknowledge what was happening, even if I internally felt like something was off, because I did not feel courageous enough to do what I knew would be the appropriate steps if I were to accept the truth.

Now, people disrespecting you doesn’t need to mean they are literally spitting in your face, but they could be doing it metaphorically and you’re letting it. Example, your friend or partner makes a mean comment about your hair, your weight, your fucking height, anything. Maybe something that you already feel insecure about, maybe something that you’re proud of that you want to share with them, and then they shit on it

The tricky part with shity like this is they don’t have to scream in your face, if anything, they know that’s one of the worst tactics because it’s too blunt and obvious, you’ll see it right away (maybe). What is an easier, more manipulative way to make someone feel insecure or inferior?

“Hey babe, you’re looking a little chunky in that outfit, are you sure you’re gonna wear that.” “You’re cute and all, just not hot enough for xyz.” “You’re lucky I love you because nobody else would put up with you.” These are just a couple small examples of what something like this could look like. And you know what’s crazy? You’re going to sit there, and wonder if you’re overreacting for feeling hurt by it. You might think they mean well, you might think that you deserve it. You. Fucking. Don’t.

Would you ever say something like that to them? No? How come? Oh, because it’s mean and you don’t want to hurt their feelings because you care about them? Oh you know that, but maybe they didn’t mean it that way and they just meant well? News flash baby, anyone with .2 brain cells can put two and two together and realize that’s not a very kind or loving thing to say.

Don’t defend them. The problem with this is that the longer you stay, the more you’ll tolerate it because the more attached you’ll become to them. The less value you’ll see yourself to have and the more insecure you’ll feel because they keep jabbing at you to try and make you feel smaller and smaller. People who do things like this won’t just do it once or twice. They will strategically plant little comments or actions here and there to make sure that they can control you. 

Do you really think that you deserve this? Do you really think this is love? Do you think people who love you would constantly invalidate your feelings, be mean, say and do things that they know hurts your feelings? You wouldn’t do that to them, right? So why do you accept others doing it to you?

You may have been conditioned and mentally manipulated into believing that you deserve this and that what they’re saying is the truth and that you have to stay because no one else will want you because you’re so undeserving. That is all bullshit. And I’m sorry that you are going through this or have gone through this. It sucks. But it doesn’t have to be your life.

My overall message in all the content I put out on the internet, from this blog, to youtube channel, to all my socials, is that your relationship with yourself sets the standard for every other relationship you’ll have in this life. The more you learn to improve your connections to yourself, the more fulfilled of a life you’ll live, the happier you’ll be.

Self love, self respect, and self image are all key factors to who you believe yourself to be and how you show up in the world. You absolutely deserve all the love this world has to offer. And it starts with you.