We tend to find ways to define ourselves in the hopes of knowing our identity. We introduce ourselves by saying things like my name is, I am from, I do x for work, and this is what we believe we are.
Thinking that we are this body and this mind and all that comes along with it is the root of so much of the suffering that we experience in our time on this planet.
We also identify ourselves with the things that we possess and the accomplishments that we achieve. Because we believe these things are us, we gain a sense of attachment to them. So if and when they ever cease to be, we suffer the pain of a loss.
A loss of not only the things but a loss of what we believe to be our identity. People attach to things all the time.
Not only do we attach to things but we also attach to people, claiming them to be ‘mine.’ So when you have to move from that home, or you lose that job, or that partner leaves you, you feel as if you are now missing a part of yourself and are now in a state of misery and confusion because who am I if i am not xyz?
Back to an earlier point made about being addicted to our suffering, we may also identify ourselves with pain and trauma. Saying things like “I am sad” or “I have always been this way.” Do you see how subconsciously we claim these ideas as our identity?
But that simply can’t be true. If the essence of you was sadness, when the sadness disappears and you experience happiness again, you would cease from existence.
The words that come after I am are what you condition your subconscious mind to believe about yourself, so although you may say that you don’t mean it that way and that you know you’re not identifying with the words you’re saying, your subconscious mind doesn’t know the fucking difference.
Think of your subconscious as a yes man. Whatever you tell the subconscious, it doesn’t think about or question or doubt, it simply trusts you and takes whatever you say as truth. It doesn’t know when you’re joking or when you don’t mean it.
Think about how many times you have ‘jokingly’ said something mean about yourself. You make a mistake and you say ‘I’m so stupid’ or you eat more than you thought you would and say ‘I’m so fat.’ Maybe you meant it or maybe you didn’t but your mind doesn’t know the difference and now you are unknowingly programming yourself.
Don’t panic! This doesn’t have to be your story, you’re allowed to change it whenever you desire. You are under no obligation to be today who you were yesterday. That being said, it is going to take a certain level of awareness to get yourself thinking different thoughts, this doesn’t need to happen overnight.
It can be as simple as catching yourself having a thought of something that you don’t want as your truth, and in the act of catching it, you choose to think something else.
Notice how I said choose. We have the free will to be whoever we want to be and act whichever way we please to act at any given moment. That first thought might be a repeating thought that you’ve had for years, don’t beat yourself up when you notice it.
You can’t always control your first thought, but you have total authority over the second.
I challenge you today to ask yourself, who do you want to be? Are you acting as that person? And if not, what is something that you can do about it today?
You don’t have to conquer the whole world today, but maybe you can conquer a blade of grass, and that’s still one step in the right direction.
1% beats 0% any day. Remember that the next time you’re discouraged or on the verge of quitting on yourself.
You deserve people that show up for you, be the kind of person that shows up for you. You got this.